FW: Bit of Logic
A Bit of Logic
A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report
her telephone
failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when
it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set,
and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but
then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel
chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number
was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to
ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by *pissing and moaning.*
Thought you'd like to know
Baptist Dinner Party
A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the House was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, 'No mushrooms. They are too high.'
He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.'
She said, 'No, some wild mushrooms are poison.'
He said, 'Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK.' So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, diced them for her smothered steak . Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the Yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long,Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 and dominoes. About then, the helper lady from
town came in and whispered in Janet's ear.
She said, 'Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died.'
Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the Doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said , 'That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.'
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road . The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they to ok each person in to the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, 'I think everything will be fine now.' and he left.
They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and said, 'You know, that fellow that ran over Ol'Spot never even stopped
Wednesday, May 07, 2008 12:14 AM
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IRS AUDIT
At the end of the tax year the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the
books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the
Rabbi and said, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with
the candle drippings?'
Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to
the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
candles.'
'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer.
But on he went, in his obnoxious way: 'What about all these bread wafer
purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?'
'Ah, yes,' replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to
trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them
back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free box
of bread-wafers.'
'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi. 'Well, Rabbi,' he went on, 'what do you do with
all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'
'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the Rabbi. 'What we do is save
all the foreskins and send them to the tax office, and about once a year
they send us a complete dick. |
From the Desk of:
Douglas Mills
Executive Vice President
5/7/2008
MRC Friend,
Remember Roseanne Barr, the foul-mouthed, shock comic of the 80s?
Well, she�s found work on liberal talk radio network Air America,
and suggested that leftists should ignite riots at the Democratic
convention in Denver to "resist a two-party system that allows
imperialism and racism to continue unrestrained."
Following her April 28 rant, only Fox News Channel and the local
Denver media thought it newsworthy. None of the other major
outlets gave it a glance...
Until Rush Limbaugh humorously suggested that riots in Denver
would wake up America. Suddenly, it's news, to the point that
Senator Ken Salazar sent an angry letter to Clear Channel
radio asking Rush to be "reprimanded" for talking up violence.
MSNBC's Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann also piled on Rush
suggesting he be prosecuted for incitement to riot! Any mention
of Roseanne? Of course not!
Read Brent's complete column:
http://www.mrcaction.org/r.asp?U=6931&RID=15926312
Moving on to the ridiculous, Al Gore is blaming the Myanmar
Cyclone on Global Warming.
While it is appalling that one would use a tragedy like this to
advance a radical agenda, it is standard fare for the Climate
Alarmists in the media. From "elephants are falling from the sky"
doomsday forecasts, to erroneous assertions of a rapid rise in
sea-levels caused by the melting of icecaps in Antarctica, this
is the kind of radical "scare tactic" that we�ve come to expect
from the media.
Sadly, many are being hoodwinked.
In Christopher Horner's excellent resource, "The Politically Incorrect
Guide to Global Warming and Environmentalism", he expertly and
scientifically dispels this and other Climate Alarmist claims--as
well as the media�s key role in advancing this agenda
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Wednesday, May 07, 2008 12:26 PM
This is wonderful. I have seen it before, but it really is worth watching again. The message is wonderful and those horses are beautiful!
They just wanted to acknowledge the tragic event. This is a company who always does things with a ton of class. Disclaimer for OSI Restaurant Partners, LLC This message and any attachments are intended only for the use of the addressee and may contain information that is privileged and confidential. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient or an authorized representative of the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify me immediately by replying to this e-mail message or by telephone (813-282-1225), then delete this message and any attachments from your system. Thank you. | |||||||
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| Dear Supporter,
Recently, she and my husband, John, sat down to film an interview about his childhood. From this interview, our campaign has put together a special Mother's Day message from our family to yours. I hope you'll take a minute today to watch it by following this link. Our family has been blessed with seven wonderful children: Doug, Andrew, Sidney, Meghan, Jack, Jimmy and Bridget. As a mother, I want to see that my children have every opportunity to succeed in life. When my husband, John, approached our family about running for president, I thought about the pros and cons of going back out on the campaign trail. In the end, I knew that as a mother, I wanted my sons, who are both serving in the military, and my daughters to live in a country led by a president - a commander in chief - with the experience and courage to address the big issues our children will face in the future. I know that person is my husband, John McCain. It would be such a special Mother's Day gift to me and Roberta to see the man we know and love elected as our next President of the United States. I hope you will take some time today to watch the video message of John and Roberta. After watching the video, I ask that you consider making a campaign contribution of whatever you can to our campaign. I also hope you will take the time this Sunday (and every day) to show your love and thanks to the mothers in your life. I especially want to send special greetings to all those adoptive parents and foster parents. Thank you for your time; your support is deeply appreciated. Happy Mother's Day! Yours Sincerely, P.S. This Mother's Day, our campaign has recorded a special video message of my husband, John, and his mother, Roberta, from our family to yours. Please follow this link to watch the message, and after watching it, make a campaign contribution of whatever you can give. Your time and support is always appreciated. |
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Republican National Committee | 310 First Street, SE | Washington, D.C. 20003 |
May 07, 2008 7:32 PM
PRICE OF GAS AROUND THE WORLD
Prices are quoted in US dollars per gallon for regular unleaded.
Oslo, Norway
$6.82
Hong Kong
$6.25
Brussels, Belgium
$6.16
London, UK
$5.96
Rome, Italy
$5.80
Tokyo, Japan
$5.25
Sao Paulo, Brazil
$4.42
New Delhi, India
$3.71
Sidney, Australi a
$3.42
Johannesburg, South Africa
$3.39
Mexico City
$2.22
Buenos Aires, Argentina
$2.09
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS ....
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
$0.91
Kuwait
$0.78
Caracas, Venezuela
$0.12
>>>>>>> YEA that's what I said !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Replacement Obama Pastor Just As Controversial As Wright | ||
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Barack Obama has finally distanced himself from Rev. Jeremiah Wright after a 20-year relationship, but the pastor who is replacing Wright at Chicago’s Trinity United Church of Christ is likely to be just as controversial. New Trinity pastor Otis Moss has called Biblical patriarch Abraham a “pimp” and made other statements many would consider offensive. After Obama called Wright’s comments “divisive and destructive,” a questioner noted that Rev. Moss has defended Wright and asked if Obama would continue attending the church. “Well, the new pastor, the young pastor, Reverend Otis Moss, is a wonderful young pastor,” Obama responded. “And as I said, I still very much value the Trinity community.” Moss, the 37-year-old “hip-hop pastor,” as he’s called by congregants, will become head of Trinity in June, after serving as an assistant pastor there for two years. But a videotape of a sermon he delivered at Wright’s church shows this “wonderful young pastor” referring to “ghetto prophets” and “thug theology,” calling the late rapper Tupac Shakur a “prophet,” and reciting at length lyrics to Shakur’s song “Thugz Mansion.” See Pastor Moss making these remarks — Click Here Now. Moss also states in the sermon:
In an interview last month with National Public Radio, Moss refused to distance himself from claims by Wright that the U.S. government was involved in distributing illegal drugs to minorities. He said: “I think we need to be very, very honest in terms of that our government has the ability to place a Hubble Telescope in the sky but yet we haven’t had the political will to shut down drugs coming into our community. And from that perspective I think that’s something we can look at in terms of policy.” In his Easter sermon, Moss said Wright was “lynched” by the international media, and compared Wright to Jesus. In a Trinity church newsletter, Moss maintained that American entertainment companies operate with contempt for the black community, according to World Net Daily. He wrote: “Currently, there are eight companies controlling 90 percent of everything we hear, read, watch on television or view in the movie theater. These companies operate with contempt and disdain for the black community.” Moss has also referred to blacks as “lepers” with a “skin disease.” | ||
>>> Out of the frying pan and into the fire keep it comming ODUMBA ,,, only 120 days until the OCTOBER SUPRISE hits AMERICA in the face with ALL the TRUTH ABOUT YOUR PAST !!! <<<<<<<
Obama Embraces New Caustic Pastor | ||
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Can you imagine the president of the United States attending a church where the pastor says everyone has a bit of “thug” in him and praises a rapper with a criminal record as a prophet? How about a pastor who calls the biblical patriarch Abraham a “pimp” and says Noah and Moses were thugs, Jesus has a “soft spot for thugs,” and everyone has some “thug proclivities.” If Barack Obama is elected president, that is exactly what will happen. Now that the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. is retiring from Trinity United Church of Christ, Obama has said he will continue to attend the church. Explaining his decision, Sen. Obama said that the “new pastor, the young pastor, Reverend Otis Moss, is a wonderful young pastor.” He said he also still values the Trinity community. Known as the "hip-hop pastor," Otis Moss III has served as assistant pastor of the church for two years. Moss officially takes over in June. While Moss has not expressed hatred of America and of whites, as Wright did, in a sermon on YouTube, Moss derides middle-class America for not accepting the “prophetic brilliance” of thugs. Referring to these thugs, Moss says sardonically, “There are times when our prejudice keeps us from hearing ghetto prophets, who preach a brand of thug theology which keeps us from hearing the truth from their lips because of their course language and ragged subject-verb agreement.” To applause, Moss approvingly cites Tupac Shakur, a “gangsta” rap star with a long arrest record. Before being fatally shot in a drive-by attack in Las Vegas in 1996, Shakur faced a 120-day sentence for probation violations stemming from offenses including assault and battery and a 1994 sexual abuse conviction in New York. Shakur served 11 months in prison for his involvement in the sexual attack on a 21-year-old woman in a New York hotel room. Judge Daniel P. Fitzgerald of the State Supreme Court in Manhattan described it as “an act of brutal violence against a helpless woman.” Shakur had also been convicted in Los Angeles of assault and battery on a music video producer and for carrying a loaded, concealed weapon. Most Americans look to places of worship for inspiration and moral and spiritual guidance. Moss’ message is the opposite. Claiming Shakur’s message speaks to our “current condition,” Moss blurs the distinction between right and wrong: He says those who don’t get that a rapper like Shakur is a prophet and biblical figures are thugs are confined by “bourgeois paradigms.” Instead of condemning those who break the law, Moss says to exuberant applause, “Our society creates thugs. Children are not born thugs. Thugs are made and not born.” He adds, “This is good news for somebody who has a proclivity for 'ghettoistic' conduct.” Indeed, it is good news for those who do not want to be held accountable for their own conduct. In making that statement, Moss endorses the message of many black leaders who encourage blacks to see themselves as helpless victims of a bigoted society. As outlined in the Newsmax article “Rev. Wright Furthers Black Victimhood,” the victim mentality limits blacks’ aspirations and torpedoes their chances at success. What is most disturbing about Obama’s continuing attendance at Trinity is the fact that he is exposing his children to its negative message. Instead of uplifting members of his congregation and calling on them to adhere to the best values, Moss denigrates American society and looks to guidance from thugs. A president is commander in chief and chief executive officer of the government. But he is also a moral leader. When President Clinton was caught having sex with Monica Lewinsky, parents all over the country were embarrassed and disgusted that they had to explain to their pre-teens the meaning of the sexual terms their kids read in newspaper articles describing Clinton’s activities with the 22–year-old White House intern. What kind of moral leadership can be exercised by a man who sends his kids to listen to sermons denouncing America and whites and now calling Moses a thug and praising a convicted rapper as a prophet? What kind of example is set by a man who does not denounce the destructive message sent by this church to blacks and whites alike? Tragically for segments of black society, in belonging to Trinity and contributing $26,270 to it last year, Obama is helping to spread the crippling message among blacks that they are victims. Apologists for Obama will say where he attends church and what he exposes his children to have nothing to do with being president. They are mistaken. It has everything to do with being president.
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>>> Wake up AMERICA this muslin punk is showing everyone what he has in his heart and soul ,this is what he believes in , he is no more a christian than I can fly to the moon by flapping my arms, odumba is a terrorist dressed up in a western suit and tie,, but in his heart he wears a little sheet wraped around his head , HE is a LITTLE ShIeet HEAD and I KNOW IT ! <<<<<<
Barb's is named for a barber
EVERLY, Iowa -- How good are the burgers at Barb's Restaurant & Lounge north of this Clay County town?
"We've been known for our burgers forever," says LuAnne Ginger, a cook here for three decades. "We used to have the burgers pictured on the back of bowling shirts."
Barb's, also known as Barb's Corner and Barb's Cafe, has been a popular stopping point for folks driving from Omaha and Sioux City to the Iowa Great Lakes. The business at the intersection of Highway 18 and Clay County Road M-27 opened in the early 1960s as a gas station. Soon after, owner Verlin "Barb" Dillingham began grilling burgers.
"This was a landmark for people," says Randy Dillingham, son of the late "Barb" Dillingham. "We had lots of traffic here as people went to the lakes all summer long. There were people who didn't know where Everly was, but they knew Barb's corner."
Everly, home of the once-famous Cattlefeederettes (the nickname for Everly's girls' high school teams) is about two miles south of this spot on the map.
How much traffic passed by? Randy Dillingham uses a story to illustrate.
"When I was 15 or so in the early 1960s, I used to hitchhike on Saturday night to the Roof Garden (at Arnolds Park) for their dances," he says. "It took no time at all to get a ride as people from Sheldon, Sanborn, Hartley and all around here were all heading to the same place."
The traffic has since diminished a bit with the opening of four-lane Highway 60 to the west and a bypass on the east side of nearby Spencer.
Despite lower vehicle numbers, Barb's still stands and remains an active hub, staring each day at 6:30 a.m. It remains open until 9 or 10 p.m. daily, save for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
How does man get to be called Barb?
"My dad's dad, Alvah, was a barber, so he got the nickname," says Randy Dillingham, son of the late "Barb" Dillingham. "He was a barber at Moneta when it was a booming town and then in Everly. I was told that people back then were so busy farming that he sometimes would cut people's hair at 1 o'clock in the morning."
Beyond thick, juicy burgers, Barb's staff has perfected a baked beans recipe as well as broasted chicken, prime rib (on Friday and Saturday night) and sandwiches called the McKevin and the McCarole. The McKevin, named for third-generation family member/cook Kevin Dillingham, features fried eggs, cheese and sliced sausage links atop a toasted bun.
The McCarole is named for Carole Kluender, a waitress at Barb's for 30 years. That fried egg sandwich has cheese and two pieces of bacon, all served on a toasted bun.
"We've also had free popcorn here since Day 1," says Bev Schoorman, a server who works part-time when she's not serving as a teacher in the talented-and-gifted program at Clay Central-Everly.
Other favorites in the bar/restaurant include cheesy hash browns topped with onions and shakes and malts, which have been particularly popular among summer travelers heading to and from Okoboji
>>>> THE good old days when people cared about people <<<<<<<<
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