2 posts tagged “funnyyyyyyyyyy”

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Sunday in Church

Sep 30, 2009
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: One Sunday Morning

One Sunday morning,a preacher decided to do something a little different.

He said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to

help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever

hymn that comes to your mind -- the pastor shouted out 'CROSS.'

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED

CROSS.'

The pastor hollered out 'GRACE.' The congregation began

to sing 'AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.' The pastor said

'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.'

The Pastor said 'SEX' The congregation fell into total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each

other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the

church,a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing

'MEMORIES.'

Pass this along and make someone smile today (I just did).

Gotta Love Little Old Ladies. Laugh... It burns calories

Funny Bumper Stickers

Sep 28, 2009
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, September 21, 2009 6:55 PM

Subject: FW: Bumper Stickers Real funny

BUMPER STICKERS YOU PROBABLY MISSED BECAUSE YOU WERE
> DRIVING TOO FAST:
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Horn Broken....Watch For Finger.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> I Have The Body Of A God....Buddha.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> So Many Pedestrians....So Little Time.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Illiterate? Write For Help.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Honk If Anything Falls Off.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The
> Next Exit.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed
> Person.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> (Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
> If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also
> Timed For 70 mph.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Constipated People Don't Give A crap.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No
> Shirt, No Charge
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My
> Mailman Look Like
> Jabba The Hut?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Ax Me About Ebonics.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Boldly Going Nowhere.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car
> Window.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He
> Admits He is Lost?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> GROW YOUR OWN DOPE--- PLANT A MAN.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> AND Perhaps THE GREATEST BUMPER STICKER EVER:
>
> "POLITICIANS &
> DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME
> REASON"